It's a Magical Feeling to be CheeKy

school is jez sooo tiring today. But iont know...like when the bell rings at 4:30 pm, and mah blockies and I go down to change clothes...tapos we eat at MAE, ang saya ko na. hahaha. then by 5:30pm, he starts texting na. Hahahaha.

It's just so good that after a long day, you get to slow time for a while and just feel...light! that's what he makes me feel... like after a day of hard work, when we get to talk to each other...I feel much better na...like em energized for the work that needs to be done at home pa.

Today, he injured his hand/finger. I cannot really understand what happened... basta he said it's pretty bad. But i hope it gets better..may test pa siya tom.

ANyway, we have internet access at home na!! hahaha. so happy. today, i also got to talk to mah friend, Micon. it feels home talaga talking to your friends.

Anyway, im tired na din. Tomorrow's gonna be a LOONG day. Two tests on Thursday..and it's gonna kill me talaga. I cant wait till Friday...and mapanood ko ang Shall We dance.

I feeeeeeeelll soooooo gooooood! Yummy.

today..... mah legs hurt. Maybe it's because of all the walking ive been doing around MC and around the library. I didn't eat today to prepare for mah exams tom. hahaha. now, im uber hungry.

well, he's still not okay...i mean his hands aren't okay yet...but he can text. hahahaha

I wrote a nice story for mah english class...we were asked to write a dialogue. So the characters are...syempre kaming dalawa. hahaha. it's a real dialogue naman. hahahaha. meaning it happened.

Hay im so scared of mah tests tom. i feel like it's finals na... and em so scared...i hope i pass these tests... So far, mah prelim grades are okay. I got mah test results in Philo today, not bad. 75/90 if only i was a little MINDFUL i could have gotten a higher score. ooh well, next time

Mah NSTP prof talked to me regarding mah reflection. She said it was touchy and almost made her cry. There were tears in her eyes!! hahaha. well, maybe they were tears but i really don't know.

I'm bad today coz i havent been listening to mah professors. I've been reading mah books for mah tests tomorrow. So later...i will just memorize. hahaha.

Anyway, i have a lot to tell but i hafta go....

wish me luck!

Intimacy is finding yourself and losing yourself to another person.
-Erick Erickson

********************************************

I love you!

Anyway...

I really do miss my kada. I miss the fun times we used to do...glorietta trips...laugh trip...mcdo days...st.scho hang-outs. I remember we made promises of keeping in touch...of seeing each other every month...promises of nothing will ever change...But they have.

And i did

and all i know is that those promises will forever be stuck in my memory of them...but i really want to say em sorry...and really i just wanna go back to those days when we'll be there for each other no matter what happens...we'll eat the same food, help with homeworks..talk about love life...i really do miss em...coz you know...you guys...kahit na i couldn't understand a lot of things then...i now know why...sometimes i hope that things will just go back to normal...like when we see each other...no one will feel strange..(well maybe i will feel strange with you and you will feel starnge with me) coz i've been apart...and you all are there together...

I miss the hugs..the "comfort" word...the beso-beso...me hugging carla from behind...or you getting mad coz i always make kapit to your arm..or how we hate fridays (pag malapit na holy week)

I miss hearing carla laugh..and getting notes with horses drawings on em..and that tall handwritting of yours..your nenuco smell, the cars, the long hair na pinagupitan na we don't even notice, "maix, ano ba yan?!" I miss you bengsie...ung elective classes natin..the otso otso smiley....ung pag-ayos ng chair natin after classes. Si carla kahit upset, depressed, badtrip...carlita pa din! A lot of more...carla.

I miss cara's eyes..especially when she's making kwento..Ung tawanan kayo and suddenly she stops talking...or when you're making kwnto bigla siya tatahimik...or when she's so excited about what she recently bought..or how excited you get when you see soloring materials...Pagnagagalit ka...or hectic "bwisit naman kasi ito eh.." and that mellow voice na "pu******* niya" hahaha. Pag nalilito ako with how gonzales is spelled (mali pa rin ata!) hahaha. ) i'm happy ur happy.

I miss donna...and our love for acoustic...senti...sweet eklat. Yung advices niya...the way she sees everything so positively. Uber bait...always there...yung tawa niya most importantly. Hahaha. Si Mr. suave na lagi niya kinakanta non... Refined talaga.

I miss micon...and it'll be very tiring to be enumerating everything i miss about her..i already told you what i miss about you...but i forgot our "ice cream" days yung bubblegum flavor...hahahhahaha. and ung fave natin ulam sa canteen!!!

i miss cheska and bea, too. Kahit na we only had a year together, i enjoyed em soo much. Remember planning for Bea's bday? Yung boracay thingie...na we were joking about gym thingie? kasi pag mag gym pa tayo bea buto na lang matitira! I miss cheska's jokes. ung tawa niya. ung mata din niya and yung how we used to fuss over mood rings. i miss em all...lalo na noong pumunta cheska to mah dorm...and meet niya si martin, i can't forget yung una niya sinabi, "maika..nako..wg ka mag-expect!" but martin's really funny. hahaha, yung mga questions niya noon nakakagulat! hahahaha!

I miss our pretty barkada. Lhat maganda and laging masaya. I know i can never bring back those times...and i can only write and write about em...but one thing i learned during our NSTP class is that...one shouldn't get attached to the results of one's actions... We all had to go, we all had to leave and grow...but we're still kada right? we once were kada...and we'll always be kada..even if we're on our different paths na...and meet more people...when I look back to mah Highschool life, it'll lead me back to you guys.

Please peeps, read the lyrics. it's soo nice...ang ganda nakakaiyak

"Truth Is"

Ah Oh Ah Oh

[Verse 1]
Ran into an old friend yesterday
Caught me by surprise when he called my name
He was a familiar face, from a chapter in my past
Talked for a while, asked him how it's been
Said that he was seeing somebody and
Told me this was gonna last
Showing me her photograph

[Hook]
And all the feelings that I thought were gone
Came rushing back to me at once
Tried to smile and hide the way I felt
But I was thinking to myself

[Chorus]
(Truth is) I never got over you
(Truth is) Wish I was standing in her shoes
(Truth is) And when it's all said and done
Guess I’m still in love with you
(Truth is) I never should have let you go
(Truth is) And it's killing me cuz now I know
(Truth is) And when it's all said and done
Guess I’m still in love with you

[Verse 2]
We reminisce on the way things used to be
Shed a couple laughs, shed some memories
Talked about the things that changed
Some for good and some for bad
Then he said good-bye and he paid for lunch
Promised that we'd always keep in touch
Grabbed my bags and grabbed my thoughts, walked away and that was that

[Hook]
And all the feelings that I thought were gone
Came rushing back to me at once
Tried to smile and hide the way I felt
But I was thinking to myself

[Chorus]
(Truth is) I never got over you
(Truth is) Wish I was standing in her shoes
(Truth is) And when it's all said and done
Guess I’m still in love with you
(Truth is) I never should have let you go
(Truth is) And it's killing me cuz now I know
(Truth is) And when it's all said and done
Guess I’m still in love with you

[Bridge]
Now the truth is it hurts but I know that the fault is mine
‘Cuz I let him go
Tried to get over it but it's messin' with my mind (Because I know)

[Chorus (2x)]
(Truth is) I never got over you
(Truth is) Wish I was standing in her shoes
(Truth is) And when it's all said and done
Guess I’m still in love with you
(Truth is) I never should have let you go
(Truth is) And it's killing me cuz now I know
(Truth is) And when it's all said and done
Guess I’m still in love with you

I just gotta be honest, I guess, I-I guess, I’m still in love, in love, in love


[Thanks to DonDutch1@yahoo.com for these lyrics]
[Thanks to bashyness2002@yahoo.com, KJohn65@aol.com, twuan1887@yahoo.com, jalnini1124@yahoo.com for correcting these lyrics]

[ www.azlyrics.com ]

CARLA: I am so sorrry..I totally forgot that i'm going to Damascus this feb.19 and 20. It's for our NSTP finals and i totally forgot. And I have no more time to back out...coz the 2nd batch eh this weekend ung 3rd kami na... i'M SO sorrryyy..i'll make it up to you..pwamis!!

Alam mo I got to relate with Cara's post so muuch.. I wrote an entry last friday (which suddenly deleted itself. I pressed a button nawala lahat!!) about mah life right now...

Em happy (kung sa pagiging happy lang) Y not?
1. I'm blessed with new friends who helped me adjust in college
2. I've got mahself "this very special friend" who never leaves mah side (and syempre inspires me a loot)
3. Mah grades are unbelievable (i am not used to getting high scores..or the highest scores..or just being so responsible?!)
4. My family's okay. My daddy's so supportive of me.
5. My parents allowed me to date "legally".
6. I am turning 18 soon!!!
7. I've got internet access at home
8. I found out that braces might be a challenge but im thankful they're made of plastic now. No more metal!!
9. i'm totally being responsiblee!!!

and a lot of more..i've been blessed..i've been good..

But see, no more gimmicks for me (with friends...mostly family) Not that em complaining but i miss those adventurous gimmicks i had before...now i even think I don't know how to "gimmick" na!! I enjoy the comfort my house gives...the good air around katipunan...

But i'm not yet a nerd...what is a nerd anyway? Oh well..

Basta!!!!!!!!!!

I like this song. Nyoy sang it kanina. InlaB pa rin ang loka (di kay nyoy ha!)

Each Day With You
Martin Nieverra

Flowers oh, on this lovely evening
Though they have no words
they share my feelings;
As we walk along the avenue,
Pardon me, I just can't
help staring at you. (waaah, this is the moment!)

When I look into those
sparkling eyes, (yests, and mah lashes take note!)
If float in the air and wonder
in paradise;
You give my heart a source of
inspiration,
Your beauty is beyond imagination. (suuureee)

CHORUS:
You are the one
The only one I desire,
When we touch,
When we're one you light the fire;
The seasons we share
Hand in hand, there seems to be no time,
Each day with you becomes a Valentine.

Time must go on and so must we
Moments slip away to unlock the memories;
One day as we look back with
all this treasure,
Candle light that shines beyond before. (huh?!)

Each day with you becomes a
Valentine.
Your beauty is beyond imagination.

Each day with you becomes
Valentine.



wahahaha wala lang!!!!!!!!!!

I MISS HIM NAAA....

i survived three days of no texting...no talking...no hugs, no goodnight kiss, no one saying the word "sizzling" , no one to comfort me, no one to make kulit, no one to call mah boy...

hahaha..and I cannot prolong this na. ) hahaha, and OA?!

My mom and I talked about him over the week-end. And I made things clear with her na...and she understood mah decision, she's as supportive as my dad. ahaha. but she wants me to go out with other people and socialize more from people of the opposite sex...

But the bottom part is..I miss him.

People kept asking of who's this guy i've been talking about...what is "our" status (gawsh..."our") whatsoever..

We are friends. And we have a special friendship. It has been tested through time...and has been made stronger everyday.

Hahahha, it's not "we" yet. It's still him and me or me and him.. I don't know if it'll get there..or will ever get there..but I am just soo happy i have him here (even if we don't get there).

I have two songs in mah mind now...

1. Say That You Love Me by martin nieverra
2. Each Day With You by martin nieverra

The first song i dont know why it's playing n my mind...but the 2nd song has been playing since yesterday...I like it when nyoy sings the line "when we touch..." un lang hahahaha.

I still miss him..i kept myself busy for the past 3 days so i wont think of him........and now im doing nothing so em thinking of him hahaha

gawsh...

should I try or should I not? Pressureness....

Mah parents are talking to me about transferring to the neighbor school (ateneo)

They said I should go give it a try....

should i?

should I follow mah heart...or follow what dreams?

pero sabi nga nung kanta..

a dream is a wish your heart makes..

I hate it when people sends you the stuff you have to do through e-mail. AND ITS IMPORTANT. It could have been given a while ago, but she's just so freaaaaking bwisi!T!!!!

Like right now she's prolly sleeping like a pig while all of us are glued to the screen waiting for her freaking email!!! Lahat naman kami pagod ah...she's stressed? Oh my Gawsh!! She complains of always doing ALL the work..

Yeah right, you do all the work but u never do anything good at all!!! She's such a pain in the ass.

I am so freaking sleepy, so tired, so gonna die na tapos magkakabisado ka pa ng lines!! I hate her!!!!!

I didn't know corruption can happen in classes. She practically asks too much money from us..and when we ask her why is it too much, she suddenly changes the price! Tapos one time she donated the money daw...yung pinang photocopy daw namin binigay niya sa janitor...which are soo untrue!!! I hate her!! I am bursting right nooow!!!

I wish you will not be able to sleep tonite!!!

i hate you i swear!!!! I hate you!!!!!!

gawsh, em sooo freaking ANGRY!

TodaY is like the best and the worst day ever for our Block.

It's the worst because..
1. (on my part) I got really mad this morning because of what mah groupmate did. She didn't tell us that she wasn't able to send the email pala...so we were deprived of sleep na, wala pa maganda nangyari. Her phone was off, i called her home "tulog na si Max, bakit ka ba tumatawag ganito ka late?" How i wish i could answer back "kasi ho ung anak ninyo..." gawsh.
If i were a rocket, i would be in space by now. I blasted off after our PE class. I was feeling down hearing lotsa "degrading" comments already and here she goes, adding more pressure. It was actually a funny scene. We were at the cr sa locker room talking about why I cried...(this is another story) and since i cannot tell the true reason because the person involved is there, I said, "kasi si Maxima.." after saying her name, Maxima suddenly spoke! Gawsh, she was there pala!! ) Then, Rizzy made comments pa which made Max defend her side more...but I didn't hear it anymore because I went out of the CR na.
Outside the CR, I was busy fixing mah self when here she goes again, trying to explain. I know I should have allowed her to talk but I just don't want to be bothered by it anymore. I don't wanna cry...but she pushed it pa...I ended up saying...
" Max, I'm okay, i don't want to talk about it okay? Mamya na kapag kailangan na kausapin. Di ngayon ang right time please?"
Then she talks pa..
"Max I said DONT PUSH IT!"
Just then I realized i was being mataray na...But i dont care anymore. She has to learn and im gonna say anything i want.

2. Our block had lotsa issues na some people ignore. But today, it has gotten out of hand. A lot of people are bad trip, nainis, nawalan ng gana, umiyak (like me) and nasaktan. So before our practice started, we had an open forum. It was so good to let it all out, even if it hurts.

It was the best day din kasi..

We got to straighten out a lot of things..Made practices easier and now we work as one...kasi malapit na din naman...

But then I fear...

1. Sining reporting
2. Sining Book review
3. Socio Final Exam
4. ENglish oral report
5. Psychology Paper

"Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship- and find out you still care for that person."

I got this from anne's tabulas post. It's soo nice. Ate anne (iont know if her ann has an "e" or none) but whatever! I mishooO! thanks for the very inspiring posts.

Anyway, today was fun! The teachers really surprised us with so many dance moves...Lahat uber hyperness!! hahahaha!!

Sympre our fave professors performed.

Our philo prof, Dr. Evangelsita danced..
Our Psych prof, Sir Jay Saplala (*yikee*) sang
Our Socio prof, Sir Leonidas didn't had magic to show but he sang (na palayo ng palayo sa mic)
Our PE prof, Ms. MEdina (ang ganda niyaa!) and Ms. Ocampo danced

Yung iba ayoko na i-mention. Hahaha.

Basta today was uber tiring although we didn't have any practices or tests...When I got home, I fell asleep. Tom, practice ulet. Haaaay.

Hay, habang dumadami itong schoolwork ko, nawawalan na ako ng gana...sa pag-ibig. Hay, but i love him pa...Nakakadala ang schoolwork...but I'm so thankful he's still there....kasi I get lots of strength from him and lots of inspiration. And basta..when he talks to me na, okay na ang araw ko kahit uber bad...haaay.

*thank you tLga*

hahaha. I like brit's new song. hhahahaha la lang.

Practices are getting harder...and harder...but I don't know, I don't get tired. Only, my body aches...and I'm sad about it...but when you talk to the one...i feel much better.

We practiced at Ayala Heights today. Grabe uber big houses! ) Parang nasa tagaytay! Haahahaha! We got to business as soon as possible...and had break for one hour...and then resumed again. the last thing we practiced was the hardest! Hingal na hingal na kami! )

I hope we get to finish this by tomorrow. Kasi Wednesday na ito ggrade-an g teacher... Wish mee luck. This breakdance is breaking my bones tlga! )

then nagcommute kami. First time?! hahaha. )

Peeps watch kayo ha..

February 28, 2005
1-5pm
MC Highschool cafetorium (ata?) hahahhahaha

Streetdance competition ako kasali!! minsan lang magbanat ng buto! )

Hmmm...I have so many papers to do...grabe..wla na pahinga...but em uber hyperness lagi...

Hay, mishoo aLL! Cara, thankies for the concern i miss u muchie!

"The way i see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." --> Dolly Parton

That's like the first message I got to read today. *somebody* who I trust so much sent me this message. Was it an answer to mah question?

Hahaha. Anyway, last school year, I attended this talk about relationship, sex, abortion. It was conducted by Sr. Pilar....i remember we were given a bookmark that certifies that we have adopted one baby soul. I remember mah baby was a girl, i just couldnt remember the name.

Today, I attended the same talk. And now, mah baby is a boy! Gawsh, I have two adopted babies already. I will name him when I find the right name.

Hmm, today is hearts day. It's interesting to hear stories of two people getting together...or a friend getting so excited for a date this evening...or seeing couples walking along Katipunan... but since this is mah journal, i will talk about mine.

No, I am not going out tonight. I got some invitations from some guys, some I have turned down because they wanted to take me out last week-end (eh tournament ni papa) or this coming week-end (i'll be in damascus naman) others just wanted to meet me this week. I am not used to this. It may sound like "feeling ako" pero, they are not many to boast, or konti para mahiya, they are just enough to make me doubt of who talaga. But i will not name em. Siguro code name.

Let's just say, I like talking to A. He's really sweet, he comforts me palagi, and so kulit sa text. He loves calling pa...but iont feel any "physical" or "emo" attraction to him..but i just love talking to him..he's really funny.

B is a bestfriend. I've known him longer than C. He used to be an x crush pa nga eh..hahahaha. but you see, before I really like him..as in akin na lang siya..but i've matured...and i think of him now as mah bestfriend...but ngayon things have changed...im scared that if i do something wrong, i'll lose our friendship.

C is a crush. A crush for sooo long. He's like mah bestfriend na din. And iont know what *stage* i am going through with him. I sometimes feel like it's him, sometimes feel like it's not him...hahaha, alam mo i want to say a lot of things but i hafta be careful coz journals like this are public... Basta...among the 3 he's the first. hahahaha.

Pam, I am happy for you! You finally found your prince!

I am so happy for those who struggled through the rain and found their rainbows.

And right now, I think i'm in the part where i am drying myself from the rain...getting ready to see mah rainbow.

I just wish...that this decision is "just" hahahaha. Gawsh, em so serious! I don't know how to turn one down...without losing anything or hurting anyone...

AM I ready?

Also, id like to take this down. I just want to thank this special person....syempre si C un. Thank you for being who you are...our friendship taught me how it is to really sacrifice...how to be independent, how to reason out without the influence of anyone..in short, you taught me how to speak up. You catch me when I fall, you comfort me when it's cold...and though sometimes i get so moody and weird and demanding, you always understand me...and yung pagiging magkaiba natin...it aint an issue...awgawsh. alagaan mo si pinkness, and ang army...Yosi is always kadiri. Hahahaha. just give em to the buddha..hahaha, and i want you to know how corny man our kalokohans and usapan, uber happy ako....na kahit ang babaw, masaya pa din. thank you..thank you..

And lastly..thank you for staying...thank you for always being mah kyotness boy. loves you so!

hahahaahaha...nagugutom na ako... hahaahahaha

Happy Hearts to everyone!!

To cara, you and emer are sooo cute
To micon, hows your president?
To Pam, you owe me kwentos!
To jillie and hogi, bondingness uleeet!
To Mimin, hows vdayness?hehehe

I'LL SAY THIS ONCE...AND I'LL NEVER SAY IT AGAIN...



BOYS WILL ALWAYS BE BOYS.

and i am soooo wrong thinking you'll ever change.

Hey guys, just want to know who saved April 21, 2005 for me... hahaha.

I'll be giving out invites starting March (after mah finals) tapos we'll arrange all the transpo and stuff...

It's going to be in Bulacan (yest i know nagmahal ang toll fee. Hahaha but faster ang papunta and pauwi!) and it's a whole day (cguro lunch time to sawa) hahahaha

*swimming
*videoke
*food fest!
*drinking (sa gabi)
*dancing (sa gabi)
*and some prepared special treats for meeh!

Also, pwede mag overnight! sa house namin sa Bulacan!

Don't worry peeps, Bulacan aint that far! Really one hour drive na lang siya ngayoN!

So, i hafta know who's coming or not....kasi i hafta know the number please please reply naman.

Gawsh, wasn't able to use the internet yesterday...wala ba naman dial tone?!

Haha, yesterday i wasn't feeling good. I think i'm going to be sick. it's all in the mind, maix.

Today was a nice day....kept laughing...tryin to create laughs hahahahaha

ate at Jollibee with friends...filled mah jollyshake cravings. :p

Then when we got back, this maxima (our class rep) again, really got into mah nerves! I hate her na talaga...as in no more patienc left. gawsh, she's right...na-karma lang siya.

She keeps on insisting kasi na what she did was correct...and she tries to do all the work...kaya ga we're a block, nagtutulungan. But sya, gusto niya kasi lahat ng responsibilty nasa kanya! Tapos ayan nagkakagulo ngayon with all the money and tickets. Ayoko na talaga. Enough na sa awa.

Anyway, let's pray for *wink wink him* Finals na nila next week! Uh know that mah boy's gonna make it he's a smart guy!! :0 hahaha pinagpilitan!?!? gawsh, em missing him now...

Anyway. our dance kinetics happenin on Feb 28 (monday) 1-5pm at MC HS cafetorium...is going to be televised! abs-cbn signed up daw...baka sa studio23! hahahaha so we're really breaking it down! para pag nakita sa tv, hahaha, syempre maganda! =) and syempre i'm doing it for those who's gonna watch....and syempre for mah grade! =) and he's gonna watch. Talaga naman i practiced mah body wave's and all that stuff!

Anyway, mee gots to go! thanks for those who replied!!n

MICON:
you're going ha? with your el presidente?!!!!
CARA:
bring bring Emer!!!
DONNA and CHE:
bring cholo and martin!!
BEA and CARLA:
i'll see you!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, goodluck sa party carla! Happy bday!

I am soooo stressed out...this week and last week grabe. Pag-uwi, i cry.

di ko na kasi kaya lahat...eh. You do work in school, you practice after, when you get home pang-asar pa mga tao, you can't sleep early kasi more school works...yet i feel i'm accomplishing nothing.

Tapos, may personal issues pa. He aint a problem though... hahaha

anyway, i'd like to talk about how i am feeling now. I feel like i'm a bad kabarkada. I feel like after graudating, i graduated from my kada na rin. I haven't seen everyone for ages! And i cannot do anything...i feel bad...

I know i should have crossed mah "comfort zone" and try a new adventure (and that is, the adventure of commuting). Commuting from Katipunan all the way to Malate. Aside from seeing mah friends, i've got business left pa sa St. Scho which i haven't accomplished yet.

But you see, I can't. I can't commute, i can't do it alone, i'd love to try but i have no time. I have no time to go there anymore. Classes ends at 4:30pm and if i go pa, i'll get stuck in traffic...saturday and sundays are reserved for family...and for mahself.

I feel soo bad...that i've been out of the kada for so long. That maybe that is the reason why a number of times nangyayari na when they write entries on their journals about missing the kada, they forget to include me na...kasi it's like this:

(party) + (wala ako)= nakakalimutan me
Unconditional Stimuli + neutral= unconditioned response

and when these happen repeatedly, the neutral becomes a conditioned stimuli.

o basta something like that..Psych yan eh! hahaha..

yest i feel bad that mah name's forgotten..but i partly understand...who wouldn't forget if presence aint there? It's just like when Micon went to the States, una, we weren't used to going out kami lang...nung tumagal, we got used to it that it's okay going out without her (kasi nasa states siya)

Now, carla's celebrating her 18th bday..and for the nth time, wala na naman ako. Lagi na lang ako wala...most of the time, di tlga macontrol ang reasons. But i really feel bad...Like when I see pictures...of them together, i feel bad that i'm not there anymore...That i don't know who they are seeing, how their relationships are...mga awayans/tampuhans/kilig times...iont know.

Iont know about their families na..iont know if their braces are taken off na...or if one's hair is longer now...

I DONT KNOW ANYTHING.

You'd like to reach out....but walang common time...and uber busy... i know "busy" aint the best excuse for any problem but that's my real reason. I'm not avoiding anyone...i'm not separating myself from anyone...i'm not forgetting the kada...

Wala lang, i just feel so bad...I know that pag true friends kahit di nagkikita..okay lang...and that the friendship is still there...but i feel like....

i've been busy, i haven't seen the kada, they've forgotten me, and i'm just a part of the kada na we once were nung HS.

Life has changed..life made us end up with different set of friends now...

Everybody said it will be different when you get into college....

Nobody told me you'll feel this way.

I'm happy with mah life here in Katipunan....closer to *wink* basta masaya ako...but at times when i get to miss who i was dati...i look for mah kada...i look back on our memories...and it brings me closer to home... but now, this is my home...

But im still thankful that Micon and I are okay now... we're still bests and i love you so much! You make me cry! and that Cara is always there to guide me pa rin....


I miss
*mah magagangda family...jillie, mamsi sherbs, tito sunny, hogi, twishie, lexi, peachy, marlo, dandan...
*pambee!!!!!!!!!!!!


And im uber thankful that i have mah blockies...who are always there...and who helped define who I am now.

Especially kay J-ann, Sheree and Marixie.

and mah bebe reyn

PART I.

mga kasing pretty ko na important people in life. Note: part I pa lng...hu knows ilang parts pa?! hahahaha

see...where em coming from? hahaha...lahat yan magaganda! hahahha

This is mah bestfriend (in Bulacan...she's now studying in UST)

She's part of the UST dance troupe...syempre di ko lam how spell yun...basta 'gawi siya..iont know how to spell it ksi! Loser!

her name's patty aniag...but i call her patty..sometimes trish

waah, miss her muchie. uber duper.

see funky na!
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isa pa!
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close up!
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hahahahha. and then of course...mah other bestfriend eh sino kaya yun? hahahaha

pa-cute ba? hahaha
can we have our pic together naaa?
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and then mah mommykinst! with her hubby hehehehehehehe peace emer!

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other bestfriends coming up! hahahahha


pictures are taken from their friendster accounts without their permission. hahaha, but they'll understand right right? Loves youuu!

Bateng

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toto and bateng


bateng and me

Damascans

ung katabi ko kamukha daw ni ja rule but for me, kamukha niya si Usher! Diba?

I miss em uber much.

My week end was the best because of them...and I thank God for letting me be there at that time... I don't regret goin there and missing a whole week-end because uber saya ako...with em.

Addik na sa kanila!

Gawsh, i can't believe it's friday na mamya...

I've been so addicted to school na. But let me clear that ha..grabe parang di na ako umuuwi sa bahay. Like ilang days me this week na uber can't stop talking about Damascus...na uber nakakapagod na makinig paulit ulit kwento ko!

Mah grades are okay naman...feeling sad lang kasi di ako aabot sa required grade sa Math para di na ako magfinals. but still, em happy for mah friends who wont be taking the finals anymore.

Hmm, what else? Oh yeah, let's pray for Emer...cara's bf... nasaksak siya last night please God, make him safe....

And to those who have P20 and time on Monday...

please watch naman our Dance Kinetics. 1pm-5pm may bands after (rivermaya ata) and then it might be televised it's going to be at the MC HS cafetorium (ata..i'll confirm)

syempre panuorin ninyo ako... last category kami (there's ethnic, jazz, latin, ballroom, and hip hop) hip hop kami...first to perform pa.. kaya kabado..

I know mah block can do it... di man manalo, what is important is that we've won each others hearts. I love you family.

please pray for meee!!!!

Last night, my dad was kinda feeling sad because i still have practice today (its a holiday). He was kinda disappointed na our dance aint that polished yet...to think we practice everday till 7pm since january!

Anyway, we ate at Kamameshi whatever...after eating, he asked me what car I wanted to drive..

maika: pa, kahit may car ako, em scared to drive noh...besides i have a car, can drive pero di ko lam how to go around!
DAD: okay lang yan. matutunan din yun.
maika: gusto ko small car lang...pero pwede na rin rav4..or parang car ni kuya..pero mahirapan ata ako...pwede ba may driver? )

anyway, pag18 na ako, i'll get mah driver's license na!! I am excited because this summer, em gonna be driving around...kinda scared but its something to look forward to!

but then...think about the toll...the gas...the traffic..

ANyway, I am excited that finals are coming..and soon it'll be over...all i have to stress about is mah debut!

but you see...his bestfriend broke the news to me...he..as in *he* as in paolo...might not be able to come on mah debut..

WHY?

because grad gift yata ng parents niya eh trip sa states..like a vacation there... (graduation gift + he got in pa sa ateneo!)

i ammm sooooooooooOOOOOOOOOooooooo saad.

can something just happen na wala na ganito?

Iont know, i just feel bad. This week we didn't talk much...because finals na niya..and i want him to concentrate...and ayaw ko siya disturb...

and i feel he's drifting away na...i can't feel "it" na....

I miss him...i miss the messages, the kulitans, asaran, tampuhan, galitan, no reaction niya, tuksuhan, seryosohan, pa-cute lang... waaah...

Tapos he aint sure pa if he can come sa Monday..sometimes i think nga he's just saying that tapos he'll be there on Monday..but one can't assume...baka wala naman nakakahurt lang..diba?

actually song ko sa kanya as of the moment, "suntok sa buwan" by session road..uber patama!!!

"di ko to gusto..pero wag kang lalayo..)

This is sooooo asteeeg!!! our dance...madami mali but I enjoyed soooo much!! hahahaha. Woooh!! hindi kami natalooo!!! I think our block deserves it sooo much!!! hahahaha

Anyway, uber saya talaga....altho noong am medyo naiyak pa ako kasi *he* cannot make it daw...or he'll try again... So i told him wag na lang siya pumunta..or wag na niya sabihin he'll try...aasa pa ako. Tapos noong nasa HS caftorium na kami, I told him na i goodluck na lang niya ako...at okay na...then he said he's gonna cooome!!

He has other plans pa kasi..kinunesenysa pa ako...na magcommute na lang daw siya papunta sa plans niya. ) hahahahaha... Ayan when they came...mega naman mga blockies ko syempre...hahaha hindi tuloy ako nakasayaw!!! ) ang arte...

Tapos picture picture... Anyway, just wanna thank JP for coming...and of course, mah boy, Paolo for coming as well...send me the pics ha!!!

Tapos my dad naman kakatawa...he was taking pictures of the wrong personn! hmmmf!!! grrrrr. hahaha

O yeah, I finally met my twin...

Chynna Ortaleza!

We have a picture nga but i'll upload it sooon! Hahaha, grabe kilig to death naman ako...i sooo like her kasi..her fashion sense..and her beauty!

Tapos Marc Abaya was there...O yeah, watch out for us sa MTV be seen at MTV! hahahhaha...sila hosts namin! He's soooo gwapooo talaga!! And then rivermaya playedd!! Rico is sssoooo hooot!!!! I got to hug him pa on stageee!! woooh!!!


overall, i just wanna thank din muh family (my block and my family) for the support! kahit na dami pa homeworks...kayang kaya itooo!

eto na ang aking tween! hahahaha

a lot calls me chynna kasi...iont know we look alike daw...but now i like her kasi ganda ng fashion sense niya...uber kulet and masaya!! please vote for her sa mtv vj hunt! i just looove her!!!!!!!!!


meeeh and mah tweenie!


hahahahahahahahha. wala lang.

someday, i'll be over you...

and when God says, "time is up" i know it'll be hard to let you go... but i hafta..even if its gonna hurt...

someday, i'll stop thinking about you...

someday, i'll stop seeing you...

someday, i'll stop caring for you..understanding you...talking to you..


and when that someday comes i know i'll be ready.


but just keep on holding on...


just.

keep.